so

Hopeless is an understatement
as well as the terror I have for myself.
What will bring the light
I'll be needing some daisies for this
dissapointment
I dont know enjoyment
somebody just turn the lights off.

I can't find my way home
I am stuck in these walls
of transparent promises.

whats happening to me?
why cant i breathe right
why does everybody look over
my attempt of being soemthing
something else
I cant bear to see myself any longer
i cant bear to hear anymore words
ive wanted something like this before

satisfraction(roughy)

what is it?
whats this satisfaction you speak of?
is it in patterns of decpetion and failing?
Is it in the echo of desolate words heard by the reflection of your own voice?
maybe its netted with the webs growing in your thoughts,
or perhaps in the darkened feelings toward my vitals

my entries are so repetitive
am I seriously that pathetic?
I mena I know I am, just not to that extent.

I want everything so bad
Why am I getting worse?

Reading your writing this morning,
it made me feel worth it
it made me feel like theres reasons to be existent
I thank you, I don't know how to though

In my dreams you two have made it for the best
Serenity can once again come to me
but it all leads to confusion
why?
because i am unsure, I am lost, I am weak
unlike you,
You are beautiful and alive
To play for you would be a honor,
to talk to you would be the acme of my lifetime

I love you all