the beast

it gnaws at me
it begins to rip its way through me
maybe if I ignore it, It will go away
my rib cage gone, I can't breathe
nobody else sees it
they are living the roots
that will strengthen their branches getting them closer to their dreams
I can't ignore it, the afflicition is to sweet to forget
maybe the glistetning black cloud will provide a distraction, or
the unadorned heaven...
compassion weakens the beast, but it augments the catalyzation process when
the beast hits the bloodstream
you begin to get angry, you don't know why
actually you do but you can't tell yoruself why, it be easier too loose all control
its okay nobody will notice
better to be gone than to be a waste of time


the goosbumps you get after swallowing one
the tingle you feel after taking another one
you hate them, but you hope they'll you forget what was said and done
you would never think such things could happen
trying to avoid the pain of feeling alone borught only the pain of feeling useless
with too much time on your hands sitting lone playing gutiar while everybody else is experiencing "their song", you cna expect only self turmoil
why does this always happen you ask yourself
its probabaly because you need to realize that you are more pathetic than you thought
I wonder what it feel like to have a stable line, too doctors this isn't good... to them its failure
what if this stagnant line brought peace, what if it ribboned you with the warmth of a beating heart...
why are you even thinking bout this? I wonder what it feel like to be talken to, invited to... I wonder what it would feel like to be more than a backup plan... How bout being able to hate someone and following through with it...
I wonder what its like to feel something warm raging into a crowning light

thanks amy

ind3scribable (9:58:59 PM): you were like a knight slaying a dragon made of swedish meatballs